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Eric's Haircut: The Two and a Half Year Anniversary

It is a day that will live in infamy. February 6th, 2004.

The day of... Eric Zapakin's haircut.

It started out innocently enough.

Brett: "Eric, old buddy! I dear say, your hair's getting pretty long!"

Eric: "By jove, you're right!"

Eric: "Maybe I should get a haircut! And I know just the people to do it: my friends Ryan, Andy and Dan The Man!"

Brett: "Ha-ha! A grand plan, if I do say so myself!"

Eric: "Indubitably! It will be delightful!"


"What could possibly go wrong?"

Moments later, in the bathroom.

The "barbers" arrive.



Dan The Man.

Eric: "How delightful! There's nothing like a good, old-fashioned hair-cutting... with some of my dearest -- and completely competent -- friends!"

Eric: "Have at it, boys!"

"Take it all off!"

"Ha-ha, A jolly good time!"

"Look at that hair, just flying off! How delightf--"


They say there's one thing everyone should know about Eric Zapakin.

You wouldn't like him when he's angry.


Brett: "Haha, they totally massacred your--"

[Eric Glare]

Eric: "You guys are FUCKING DEAD!"

Eric: "Listen, I'm going home in two weeks. If I go back looking like a FUCKING SKINHEAD, my parents are gonna KILL me!"

Andy: "Eric, it looks great. Trust me."

Ryan: "Yeah, It's the best haircut I've ever done."

Mike/Pete/Brett/Darryl: "Uhhh, actually..."

Andy: "Come on, Eric, don't be such a pussy!"

[Eric Glare]

Eric Zapakin may be a lot of things, but if there's anything he's not...

it's a pussy.

The silence was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

(Or a beard trimmer, if that's all you've got.)

And then, finally...

Eric: "You know, doesn't really look that bad."

Everyone else: Um, yeah... [snicker, snicker]

A snip here,

a buzz there,

and one

Well, there's no turning back now.

I guess that'll have to do.



February 6th, 2004: A day that will live in infamy.

The day of Eric's Haircut.

Eric uses Apple computers.